DEAD?
by LadySloth
Summary: Harry was sitting in his room contemplating one night, then a firey explosion of an assassination attempt happened and killed him. Now Harry has one shot at staying on Earth and seeing his friends, will he flunk or pass?
1. Congratulations, you died

-1**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**1**

Harry laid in bed, splay legged, hands behind his head, and thinking about… stuff. Obviously.

For instance, over the past few nights he had been getting strange dreams about, well, anything and everything. Almost as if someone was trying to keep him from having nightmares about his godfather and keep out nighttime visions from Voldemort. Well… it was working.

Last nights dream had been about penguins dancing to rap on the surface of the sun with monkey dance partners. He knew that wasn't normal. And it was stupid to write to Dumbledore about it, so he just left it. Besides, the response would be something like, "Harry, I appreciate your concern in this matter, but I believe that you just making things up to get to grimwauld palace is childish." yatta yatta yatta, blah blah blah, and all that.

Without warning, there was a flash of light, a brief pain, and he was out of it.

When Harry came to, he was lying in a pile of rubble. He sat up and turned his head towards where the living room used to be, right where the charred bodies of Dudley, his Aunt and Uncle were.

Something else was also off. There where people searching the rubble frantically, Dumbledore included, and not one of them noticed him.

"Professor Dumbledore?" Harry asked him, getting up and walking over, intending to set things straight.

Dumbledore continued sifting through the rubble desperately, not even glancing up.

"Okay… since that didn't work… and I'm getting desperate here… DUMBLEDORE, YOU BETTER TELL ME WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON OR I'LL SHOVE THOSE STUPID SHERBERT LEMON CANDIES OF YOURS HALF WAY UP YOUR ASS!!" Harry covered his head in the anticipation of getting whacked, but it never came.

Everyone continued as if nothing had been said. Harry stared at them in disbelief.

He had talked to Dumbledore like that and no one had reprimanded him for it? Something was off…

"Professor Dumbledore, there is no way Harry could have survived this…" Trailed off Kingsley as he walked towards Dumbledore. Dumbledore hesitated, then stopped, tears silently streaming down his face.

"Arrg! What the Hell is going on?! Am I some sort of ghost or something?!" Harry shouted, looking at his hands. They didn't look see-through to him…

"Something like that." replied a slurred lazy voice behind him. Harry spun around to find himself looking at a girl in baggy clothes and dark green hair pulled into a pony tail at the nape of her neck, laying on the remains of a wall.

It didn't take that long to figure out that she knew more than what she seemed to.

"So… what happens now?" Harry asked her. Hey, he might as well know what he was getting into here.

Slowly, she got up, stretched and yawned.

"Well, you've got two choices. 1) because you have so many regrets, you cannot yet make it into heaven, so I leave and you become a ghost. Or option 2) I erase your memory so you have no regrets and ship your ass off to heaven." She explained lazily, ticking them off on her fingers.

Harry shifted uncomfortably. He didn't like either options. He wanted to stay and see the outcome of the war, see and talk to his friends again.

"Isn't there a third choice?" he asked uncomfortably in the silence.

"Yep. Glad you asked." she answered with a smile, "You become a Grim Reaper."

Harry stared at her.

"I take it that's what you are?" he asked, receiving a nod in confirmation. "Well… what exactly does this job entail?" the Grim Reapers grin grew wider.

"Well, since you asked, I am inclined to tell you that you may call me Jev. As for what it entails, it entails you fighting off any demons or angry and vengeful spirits to keep them from causing harm, playing spy, and keeping the balance." Jev explained to him calmly.

Harry considered it for a few moments before asking, "What if I only wanna stick around for a certain amount of time?"

Jev smiled and said, "Here, let me explain things to you. Should you choose to become a Grim Reaper, it would be your duty to try and help maintain the balance between nature and humans. Basically, observe them, report their actions to the big man, and follow your orders. To do this, you will be given a temporary human body to be seen by humans with. This body resembles your human one in almost every way, except old injuries that would normally bother you don't. If your body if destroyed, then you can either, if you have helped enough spirits, go to a place specially reserved for Grim Reapers, get another one if it's safe to, or become a full Grim Reaper. If you choose Grim Reaper now, you will never go to heaven. The rest will be explained to you in a book."

Harry took a few moments to let all of this soak in.

"Can they see you right now?" he asked Jev after a few moments, motioning towards the broken order.

"Nope. Because I don't feel like being seen right now, and not to mention that I am higher ranking, therefore I don't have a temporary body." Jev reasoned for him.

"I choose Reaper." Harry decided. As soon as the words left his mouth a jolt of pain seared through his body, and he opened his eyes to a light so bright he had to close his eyes.

When he could open them again, Jev was standing there with one eyebrow raised.

"New look looks good on you. And this is how you will work without getting noticed by friends or family, it is your 'true form.' You will look like your old self all of the other times that you aren't fighting or in spirit form." she calmly explained to him, pulling out a mirror and pushing something on it to make it full length.

As Harry got up, he realized that he was holding a large scythe that seemed as if it should weigh twice as much as he did, but it only seemed to weigh about 10 pounds, its two blades were made out of a shiny black metal and a skull was perched on top. The handle which he guessed he was supposed to carry it with was wrapped in white cloth bandages.

He wore black cargo pants, steel toed work boots, and a grey t-shirt with the sleeves seemingly ripped off.

His hair was white and his skin a practically brown tan, his eyes had become a sort of transparent red. He looked like a anorexic drow without pointed ears.

"Your Godfather and father picked out your shirt. They destroyed it themselves. Your mother was smart and let them only choose the shirt and scythe. The rest is her idea." Jev calmly explained.

Harry nodded. It only made sense, after all. Right now he was dead.

"Okay, lets walk a ways down the street. You aren't gonna have a body to be visible by humans until I give it to you, so to pass the time, what's your story gonna be?" Jev casually asked him as she shrunk the mirror once again and began to walk down the road.

Harry hummed as he thought, large scythe slung over his shoulder, and came up with it.

"Jev, hit me in the eye when I get a body." he told her, pointing at her as he did so. She looked at him with one eyebrow raised.

"Did your death rattle your brains, if you had any to begin with?" she asked him calmly, looking foreword again.

"No! If you give me a black eye, I can say that my Uncle hit me and I got ticked so I crawled out the window and ended up falling asleep in the park! An explosion woke me up so I hid in the woods!" he told her, just as they were outside the park.

Jev turned to him and snapped her fingers, then promptly pulled back her fist and hit him so hard that he fell backwards.

"You will get a spirit companion who helps Reapers with information." she told him as he sat up holding his eye, "More information will be found in this book. Humans can't read it, it looks like a journal."

And with that, she was gone.

Harry sat up, dazed, still holding his eye. He pulled a strand of hair in front of his eyes, and seeing that it was black, breathed in relief.

The order had apparated by the time he got back to the house, well, most of them had. Remus was still sifting through the remains of the house, his hands bloody with the effort. Harry grimaced, knowing what he had to do.

"Remus, what are you doing?" he asked, walking over the rubble. Remus looked up, his face full of confusion, then saw Harry and his face became full of surprise.

"H-Harry… but how…?" he stuttered, eyes tearing up.

Harry grinned like the idiot he was and pointed at his black eye. Which was really starting to annoy.

"Uncle Vernon hit me and I ended up falling asleep in the park. Heard an explosion and woke up, went straight into the woods." he explained shortly. Remus gave him a strange look.

"Harry… the explosion didn't make a sound… that's why the muggle cops aren't around…" Remus explained, reaching up to feel Harry's forehead as he did so.

Harry froze, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jev laughing her ass off at the far side of the ruins.

"And this black eye looks recent…" Remus trailed.

Harry sighed. Screw it! He was gonna tell them the truth without revealing the truth!

"Dammit, your persistent. Okay, look, I was caught in the explosion, and by means in which I cannot tell you, I pretty much made a deal with the devil, and here I am now. Happy?" Harry explained, using his hands to emphasize what he was saying.

Apparently, Remus wasn't, because he blacked out.


	2. Teh confuzzlement!

-1Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

2

Harry sighed in frustration and looked over at Jev, who was laughing even harder. He slouched and glared at her.

"You think your _sooo_ funny, dontcha?" he growled at her. She sat up and, still laughing, wiped tears from her eyes.

Regaining what little composure she had, she looked at him and grinned.

"Right now no muggle can see this house, as a matter of fact, they have forgotten it even exists. So sit down and read your manual for awhile." she suggested, and with one last snicker, she left with a soft swishing sound.

Harry stared at that one spot for a few seconds, then proceeded to open the book up to the first page.

_'Chapter one,_

_The ranks and simple spells._

_First of all, welcome to the world of death._

_In this world, there are ranks, Grim Reapers (what you are,) rules, customs, and many other things._

_The following is a list of ranks._

_Grim Reaper- the lowest rank, beginner_

_Reaper- the next rank up. It's not much, but it's a more respectful rank than Grim Reaper._

_Ja'runn- next rank up. Usually stay in office building or hiding out somewhere. Get little to no jobs. Spend most of the time studying for test to become the next rank up._

_Shinigami- travel in teams of two, are superior officers. Journey to different places to do various undercover jobs._

_Defects- one of the official higher ranks, have no temporary bodies, can become visible to humans at will, and recruit Grim Reapers._

_Soul Reapers- only eight in the entire world, a sacred position, is next to that of death. Anything else is classified. _-I'm one of them. Feel special. :P -Jev

_Heir- in line to take the throne of Death. Extremely powerful._

_Death- the highest, most powerful position there is. The boss._

_Now the first spell that you might be needing to use, young Grim Reaper, is that to create yourself a house with. First, find the place you wish for your house to be located, then imagine the house you want, make a fist with your left hand, hold it above your head, stick out your index and middle fingers together with your thumb facing you, and say "Revolvos" _

_Next, you might want to hide it from prying eyes. Clap both hands, then make a circle with them and say "Kah'rae." _

_End chapter one.' _

Harry sighed, put the book in one of the ridiculously huge pockets, picked up Remus and proceeded to go to the nearest forest.

Remus awoke to bright sunlight streaming in through large, airy open windows. Their translucent, thin curtains floating lightly on a slight breeze coming in through the windows.

He sat up and rubbed his head, looking around.

He was in a large, roundish bed with white sheets and soft, downy pillows. The room he was currently in was about as large as half the size of the great hall, with marble pillars, high, 12 foot high ceilings, gold inlays, white tiled floors, extra soft rugs, three windows as tall as the wall with open panes and white see-through curtains.

There were also silver inlays, bronze inlays, pieces of art on the wall that must have cost a fortune, and an all-around sense of wealth.

Looking out the windows, he saw a sight of open forests, rolling hills, a waterfall in the distance, a lake just outside on the property, and random wild animals if he looked closely. Judging from that view, he could say that this house-no, mansion/castle was on top of a hill.

Then a thought struck him. Harry!

He desperately sniffed the air, and caught his scent. Remus jumped out of the bed, throwing off the covers, and ran out the door.

Through the elaborate hallways, the random extra large parts of which seemed to be rooms themselves, only without doors, through the courtyards that appeared every six or twelve turns, he ran, until he ran across a figure sitting beside a fountain and reading a book.

"H-Harry?" he asked hopefully. The figure looked up over it's book, pushing new rectangle glasses up the bridge of his nose, Harry nodded.

"Hey, Remus, long time to see." Harry told him, standing up and brushing off his pants. Remus gasped slightly as Harry stood up.

His hair reached the just below his shoulders, and tied at the nape of his neck. He was wearing a fitting black sleeveless shirt with dark purple ringing around the borders, dark jean pants, a watch with silver ringing around it, and a necklace with a grain of rice in a mini thing of glass.

"W-what happened to you?" Remus asked, surprised.

"Well, it's a long story, but in a nutshell: casting spells for the first time since someone died causes… unusual reactions. Mine was longer hair. As for this place, I made it all. Don't ask how, cause if I told you, I would have to kill you. Oh! And you've been unconscious for three days." Harry explained like it was no big deal, using his hands to emphasize his words.

Remus gave him a look.

"… And the clothes?" Remus asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"The people I work for now gave me a BIG first payment to help get me started. Don't worry, I'm still going to Hogwarts." Harry answered bluntly, avoiding the more… important points of how he had gotten it.

_Flashback_

"THEY WANT ME TO _WHAT_?!?!" Shouted an enraged Harry as he stared at Jev.

The latter just shrugged, cocking her head to the side.

"They want you to bring a dead person to life. Okay, so most newbies can't even begin to pass this test, and most die trying, but what's the big deal?" she asked him, giving him a confused look.

Harry just stared at her, eye twitching. He didn't even have a house up yet and they were asking this of him. He growled and took out the book. after flipping for awhile, he finally found it.

_Bringing the dead to life_

_To bring the dead to life, a Grim Reaper, Reaper or any of the ranks needs to be prepared to loose their humanity if just one thing is off._

_If one thing is off, it can drive one insane or worse._

_So all that aside, first you need A) the persons body. B) your blood. C) all of the sad, regretful emotions inside of you._

Harry sighed as he read what was required. He had no dead body… and he didn't feel like cutting himself… oh screw it all!!

Harry grabbed his scythe out of thin air, and with a growl of frustration, instead of swinging it down, he swung it up.

Sirius face flashed through his mind, along with his parents. Something rammed into him hard, then another than another.

Groaning Harry sat up, pushing all of the extra weight off of him. Then he realized that all of the extra weight was bodies. Breathing, warm, alive, sleeping bodies. He looked up and saw Jev staring at him with an emotionless mask on her face.

Jev stared at Harry for awhile, giving this recent turn of events thought. _He just did what I did. But while I only bought one back, he bought three… ohhh… I see. He's got talents in one area and nothing in the others. He probably cannot take a persons soul easily, so he makes up for it by bringing them to life easier. _Jev sighed, then grinned.

"Hnnn… how troublesome… talent like that just got you promoted… well, you'll get your payment for a job well done in… 5, 4, 3, 2, 1-" just as she finished, eighteen large wads of cash fell on top of Harry.

"By the by, congratulations. You are now a Ja'runn, due to your excellent performance, you skipped a rank. Feel special." she told him, waving over her shoulder as she walked off in a random direction.

"I'm gonna have to take these revived people back. Sorry, it's the rules." Jev called over her shoulder just before she, along with Sirius, James, and Lily vanished.

Harry stared at the spot she had been in, left with one unconscious person, wads of cash, and in the middle of nowhere.

_End flashback_

"So, how do you like my new place?" Harry asked Remus suddenly, changing the subject.


	3. Rank Up! And airplane amusement

-1**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**3**

The next time Remus woke up, he was at his house. He sighed. Harry's boss must have needed him out of the house. Remus had seen her once, when she had come over to tell Harry that there had been a change in plans. He would be missing through half of the Hogwarts year because he needed special training.

Odd looking young woman, she had been. Black dress pants, a white blouse, sandals, and dark green hair pulled up into a ponytail. She also had smelled funny, kinda like a vampire, but not.

Well, if it had been nighttime, Remus would have thought she was a vampire, but it had been lunch time, and she had been walking around in broad daylight. Also, she had told Remus to keep quiet, Harry's work was top-secret, and if Remus blabbed, Harry would have to be the one to execute him. Execute.

Remus shuttered. Whoever Harry worked for, they didn't play around.

_fast-forward, because the narrator is impatient like that._

"Okay." Harry murmured to his team as they stood outside a house they were going to storm. The person inside had evaded all grim reapers who went after him, and he had a posse of people who had done the same. This was Harry's graduation test, if he didn't put the bad guys to rest, he failed.

"Now; Andrew, Michael, Donna, and Bradd: you guys will be coming in from the back and take them while they're surprised. Robert, you run in and distract them by making elephant sounds and I'll go in and distract them by making duck sounds." by the end of this, all of them were looking at him like he was insane. But Harry knew better. He was _mentally unstable_. **Huge** difference.

Raising his right hand and counting to three on his fingers, Harry and Robert kicked down the door and ran in screaming "BRRRRRUUHHH!!!" and "QUACK! QUAAACK!" like idiots, although they did accomplish it. They confused the enemy long enough to apprehend them.

At the headquarters, where the entire department had been watching on a big screen TV, they gave Harry some of the strangest looks, but reluctantly told him he passed. A lot of them told him to go to the infirmary, just in case.

"He doesn't need to go." Jev said, breaking through the crowd. "We already know his death rattled whatever brains he had left." with this insult said, she handed Harry the graduation documents, proclaiming him a Shinigami. "Your partner will meet you when you get back to Earth."

Harry sighed. Why couldn't he meet this partner now?

"Is there a problem?" Jev asked, eyeing Harry evilly. Harry just held up his hands and backed off, soon turning tail and running right through a window. Harry grinned as he did a freefall.

Then, Harry noticed that an airplane was just beneath him. Naturally, he couldn't help himself. He just had to do it.

Landing on the big front window of the plane, the ones the airplane pilots looked out of, he laid himself flat against the window and began to make faces at them.

_Pilots place where they fly the plane._

"Harold…" John said, staring at what had just landed on their window. Harold!" he shouted, getting the older mans attention. The man looked up just in time to see Harry stick out his tongue and, by accident, lick the glass. Bad thing; at the altitude they were in, the window was cold.

It's like licking a frozen pole in winter. Harry's eyes widened and he pulled out a red erasable marker from his jeans pocket. Popping off the cap, he wrote; 'HELP! I'M STUCK!'

One thing Harry hadn't accounted for; the pilots…they needed a mirror.

"Watcha reckon he's doin, John?" Harold asked, staring wide eyed at the teenager that had just hitched a ride with them outside the plane. The teen was now writing something out on the window with an erasable marker.

"I dunno…wanna take some pictures?"

"Sure."

_short, i know. but i felt that i should end it there. and yes; Harry did receive a concussion when he died. it messed him up, and being dead, well...he doesn't have so much stress. and Jev is a bad, bad influence._ _ :D_


End file.
